A Guide To Writing Fanfiction
by dnrl
Summary: A multi-chapter guide that breaks down things like plot, dialogue, ToS rules and how to follow them, grammar, and spelling, among other things.
1. Chapter 1

**A Guide To Writing Fanfiction**

_(No, Seriously, A Real Writing Guide II)_

By: dnrl

* * *

_Chapter One: The Plot (Dun-dun-dun!)_

* * *

Oh for the love of all that's holy! Head for the hills! I spy a _plot_ on the horizon!

God forbid.

Okay, you guys, listen up: as much as you apparently believe it, plots are not devices of Satan. Or whoever the devil is in your culture. Plots are incredibly useful writing tools that _steer your story_.

Liek whoez.

Before I start in on the beef of this chapter, I would like to point something out. If you could, please, do this interactive exercise with me, I would be ever so grateful. Okay. Open up a new tab or Internet window. Now go to: http: / www . fanfiction . net. Yes, really. Trust me on this.

Now log in.

Are we all caught up? No stragglers? Good. Now, after you're logged in, on your screen you should see a bar full of all of the wonderful tools the site makes available to us writers. Yes? Excellent. If you would please meander on down to the "Stories" link.

Click it.

Now, go to "Guidelines" section, if you would be so kind.

Marvelous.

I am now going to quote to you some text that can, in fact, be found on the EXACT PAGE you were just directed to. (Italics, bold, and underlines mine.)

Firstly: 

_Writer's Etiquette:_

_ does not filter content and is an open system that trusts the writer's judgement. However, there is an **inherent responsibility that falls to writers** as a result._

_Here is a list of conducts that should always be observed: _

**_Spell check all stories and poems. There is no excuse for not doing this._**_ If you do not have a word processor that has the spell checking feature, use a search engine such as to find one. _****

**_Proofread all entries for grammar and other aspects of writing before submission. _**_'Hot off the press' content is often riddled with errors. No one is perfect but it is the duty of the writer to perform to the best of his/her ability._

**_Respect the reviewers._**_ Not all reviews will strictly praise the work. If someone rightfully criticizes a portion of the writing, take it as a compliment that the reviewer has opted to spend his/her valuable time to help improve your writing. _

**_Everyone here is an aspiring writer._**_ Respect your fellow members and lend a helping a hand when they need it. Like many things, the path to becoming a better writer is often a two way street. _****

**_Use proper textual formatting. For example: using only capital letters in the story title, summary, or content is not only incorrect but also a disregard for the language itself. _**

_  
The site will take **immediate action** when the staff are alerted to them._

Secondly:

_**Entries not allowed:**_

_**Non-stories: lists, bloopers, polls, previews, challenges, author notes, and etc. **_

_One or two liners. _

_MST: comments inserted in between the flow of a copied story. _

_Stories with non-historical and non-fictional characters: actors, musicians, and etc. _

_Any form of interactive entry: choose your adventure, second person/you based, Q&As, and etc. _

_**Chat/script format and keyboard dialogue based entries. **_

This means that all of you out there with PWP (plot? What plot?) stories, chatroom fics, "hot off the press" entries, and non-spellchecked writing are technically in disagreement with the Terms of Service you agreed to when you first joined the site. This also means that every single one of you is eligible to be reported and banned from the site.

Just sayin'.

And so now I offer all of you this series of guides, and recommended guides by other writers on the site who have an idea of what they're doing. I'm not a perfect writer; however, my dream is to one day be a novelist. I read at least five books a week – and I rarely ever dip that low. I'm pretty high up there in English scores. I feel that I can at least provide a fundamental understanding of the rudimentary workings of the elements of a story.

A plot is exactly what your English teacher told you. See, there's this cool diagram thing that goes with it, but since we can't exactly insert the image I'll just tell you what goes along with it.

**1.) Exposition**

**-**This is where you introduce your character. You might not even start out with their name or their hair color or what they do in the morning. For example, "Anna Marie rose, yawning, out of her bed," is not an interesting sentence. What you want is something referred to as a "hook," i.e. something that catches eyes and draws in readers. One of my favorite books starts out like this: "The building was on fire, and for once, it wasn't my fault." Now, does this interest you in the least? Why yes. Yes it does. You immediately start asking questions: who set the building on fire? Who's running? Does the narrator usually set buildings on fire? What's going on here?

And, naturally, you want to read more.

The Exposition is where you "expose" your character, your setting, your time (late 1800s, early 3000s, A.D., B.C., what?), and, near the end, the beginning of your conflict. Now, exposing doesn't mean revealing everything about them from the fact that they're blonde to the name of the pet turtle they had in second grade. Exposing your character means giving the audience a sense of who they are and what they're like. Are they a smart-ass, or are they meek and shy? Here's where you let them know.

Keep in mind: in the Exposition, the reader starts out knowing nothing. While you _do_ need to explain things well, remember that too many details are just as bad as too little. Balance is necessary when being descriptive. If you overload the senses, readers will become confused, and that "Back" button will begin to look very tempting. Too little detail, however, makes your story sparse and dry…and, frankly, insanely boring.

**2.) Rising Action**

**- **Rising Action is, I think, fairly self-explanatory. Writing it is sort of difficult, however.

One of the most common problems I see in otherwise decent fanfiction is the lack of pacing. That's what Rising Action is about: pacing your story so that things don't seem too rushed. Once the character is "exposed" to the beginning of the conflict, everything's not going to happen at once. If they have a strange dream about a girl trapped in a cave, they won't get called in to see the Oracle and be sent out on a quest the very next day.

You need to think about it logically. In Rick Riordan's books, things don't happen immediately after Percy has a strange dream or premonition. Instead, a few days pass, allowing the dream or feeling to reoccur and the story to progress a bit. Then, either the hero himself takes action or he is forced into action through the Oracle of Delphi. Heck, it's like that in all books. A hero never just launches himself into a quest because of one possibly fleeting thought.

Rising Action also includes the majority of the journey of your quest. Once again, pacing is key. They can't complete a quest in three days, plus journey halfway around the world, plus fight off monsters, plus fall in instantaneous, burning, passionate love. It doesn't work that way. If you've ever gone on a long trip, you know that it's not like those cross-country road-trip montages you see in the movies. There are lots of boring parts, and these you don't need to write about.

What you _do_ need to write about is the important stuff that happens. Say it's a Percabeth story. They could have a small, fluffy, potentially couple-y moment while on a train. Percy's hand accidentally brushes against hers and she blushes or something. Small moments that make some of the boredom dissipate.

While writing Rising Action, you must always remember to keep your final goal in mind: the Climax. The top of the mountain of the plot and the next step on the way, the Climax is the result of all this rising action. You want a great Climax, right? Explosive, ka-boom, something that completely blows away the readers? Then you gotta have good Rising Action.

See, in Rising Action, you're taking every single thing that can go wrong for the heroes and making sure something along those lines occurs. For example: Say that Percy and Annabeth need to journey to Florida to stop Echidna's wild rampage. Okay, we've already got the teen crush thing going on. Make Percy embarrass himself. Have him accidentally insult Annabeth, and she doesn't speak to him for a while. Other than that, what other sub-plots can we weave?

How about…a time limit? Say that Echidna is growing the largest, most dangerous monster of them all, and it will be ready in a week. But – and here's the thing – Percy and Annabeth only find out halfway into the week, which cuts their time to stop Echidna in half. And now, say that Kronos wants the monster for himself. So he'll be sending his minions after the two of them.

What you need to do in the Rising Action – what you need to do in order to achieve a good Climax – is look at the story and say, "What can possibly go wrong?" Then…make it so.

**3.) Climax**

**- **The Climax is the pinnacle of your story. This is the point where the odds seem insurmountable; the bad guy is sure to win; the audience is on the edge of their seats, reading faster and faster – _what's going to happen?!_

All of the bad things you started in Rising Action are snowballing together, creating one big, massive, unpassable obstacle: Percy and Annabeth are still fighting, so they're not as strong a force as they could be; the time limit for the monster is an hour away from completion; and Kronos' army is closing in fast and thick around them. What do our heroes do? Will they survive?

The Climax is the point of highest tension in the story. This is the do-or-die point; this is where readers should be gnawing on their fingernails, desperately holding their breath in anticipation. This is the part in all of your favorite stories when your eyes were wide and flying across the page like a hummingbird. This is where everything is decided.

It's massively important, and totally undervalued.

You need a way to get your characters out of the hole you've stuck them in and save the day. This does _not_ mean using a _deux ex machina, _which means using a god or higher-up force to leap in and rescue them. That can be fine in smaller scenes, but the climax is where the characters show their true stuff. Zeus swooping and smiting ass is not the way to show how much stronger and more mature Percy's become.

See, all throughout the story, your characters should be growing and maturing. Their views may change, their feelings might morph…anything can happen, and the events that occur shape the all. This is what you worked towards in the Rising Action – this change in the character that enables him or her to fight back that evil. The realization of a greater power within his or her self that shows them the way to take down the villain.

Alright, so Percy has realized over the course of their journey that even though he's the son of a powerful god, he's not too good to ask for – or to need – help from somebody else. So what does he do? He turns to Annabeth, and he tells her that he was wrong. He tells her that he needs her to help him.

So this effectively resolves their fight, and it shows character development: Percy has learned to be humble. Annabeth then is at her full potential, knowing that she is needed by the guy she (secretly) likes; this enables her to reach new heights, and overcome Kronos and his army, destroying the monster in the process.

This is the end of your Climax.

**4.) Falling Action**

**- **Another neglected but much needed aspect of the writing process, Falling Action helps slow down the frantic pace the story will have picked up in the Climax. The pressing problems are solved, and the immediate danger is gone; lessons have been learned and newer and stronger bonds have been forged. This is when Falling Action shines. See, here is the point where the heroes realize that they've won. They can go home. They can rest.

The first meeting between Percy and his father takes place during this stage. After Percy has retrieved the lightning bolt, the Climax is over. Falling Action includes the plane journey to New York, the presentation of the bolt to Zeus, and the meeting between Percy and Poseidon. See, it's not all about non-action. A lot of important shtuff happens in this period of the story. However, it tends to be rather short, and it is immediately followed by…

**5.) Resolution**

**-** It's over. The monsters have been slain, the nightmares are gone, conflicts are resolved, and loose ends are firmly tied up. Everybody's happy and content – well, except for the villains, but are they ever really happy?

So now what?

This is where everybody goes home until next time. This is where the goodbyes are said, hugs are exchanged, people promise to write, and they go their separate ways. (Sometimes. Other times, the new-found couple kisses just as the book closes. I like those endings. :))

The End.

Okay. A quick recap:

**Exposition: **Introduction to character, setting, etc. First start of conflict is introduced into the story.

**Rising Action: **The ball starts rolling. Dreams are had; a few days pass, and a quest comes along. Sub-plots pick up inside the main plot and move it along faster and make it more powerful, leading to…

**Climax: **Everything explodes all at once. Conflicts are at their peak; the world is falling apart. The characters make developments and realize their growth; after the epiphany, the evil is smote down.

**Falling Action: **Loose ends are tied up, and the journey home begins.

**Resolution:** Everybody says goodbye…for now. (Maybe…who knows?)

Well, that ends the first chapter of this fic. The next chapter will be out soon, entitled "Dialogue." Have fun and write well, guys!

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**A Guide To Writing Fanfiction**

_(No, Seriously, A Real Writing Guide II)_

By: dnrl

* * *

_Chapter Two: Dialogue Is Your Friend_

* * *

"I do not understand the purpose of this sentence, (insert name)."

"Why (insert name), we are being used for example purposes!"

"Oh. Well, this sort of makes sense to me a little bit."

…

Okay, not only was that pointless, it was boring as all get out to write.

And to read, I'm betting.

Why? Because they sounded like robots. Can you really imagine two people talking to each other like that? If you can, please try the following exercise with me.

Okay, I want you to either think back on your last spoken conversation with someone…or, if you're lucky and there's somebody else in the room, strike up a conversation with them. It's okay, take your time. I'll wait.

Good. So we have this conversation firmly in our brains, yes? Dandy. Now, think about the sort of language you used. Did you notice anything that's different from the example dialogue up at the top? _Why yes, dnrl, yes I did! _Excellent.

See, when people talk in real life, they use contractions a lot. This shortens the sentence and helps get the thought across more quickly, I guess. My point is, real dialogue flows. A natural conversation between two people often contains words slurred together, like "dunno," "wanna," and "sorta." Those example words are dialogue forms of the phrases "I don't know," "I want to," and "Sort of." See?

A lot of times, formal dialogue is used with only contractions instead of slurs. I prefer to use the slurred words, as they are more natural to me. (I'm from Louisiana.)

See, the places where you're from affect the way you speak. For instance, whenever I hear the phrase "you guys," I immediately think it's weird because I'm so used to saying "y'all." However, people from, say, England, often have a much crisper way of speaking, especially if they're from the upper classes. They tend to annunciate more clearly, save the "Cockney" way of speaking. (Think Hagrid from Harry Potter for an example of Cockney.)

Real conversation also has inflections – pauses in certain places, emphasis on certain words…these inflections can be achieved through punctuation or italics. THERE IS NO NEED TO RESORT TO CAPS LOCK BECAUSE, HEY, GUESS WHAT, IT'S ANNOYING. Seeing my point here? Great. Moving right along…

To me, a good example of classic dialogue goes like this (and this is off the top of my head, for you whiners out there):

"Hey! _Hey!_ You're ignoring me!"

"No, not at all. What on _earth_ would give you that idea?"

"Ha, you're speaking to me."

"…"

"…You do realize that I hate you, right?"

"Indubitably."

See, this dialogue is not only natural and flowing; it also highlights the personalities of the two characters speaking (my characters Cadmus and Avdel). Whereas Cadmus is shown as loud and brash (which he is), Avdel is shown as quiet, sarcastic, and upright (which he is, at the beginning). This is a method of _Indirect Characterization_, which will be covered in another chapter.

Now, a few important points of dialogue that will be covered more extensively in later chapters…

Here is your example dialogue.

"hay you gaiz!!1' gues wat!'

No wai……wat's goin on gurl?

ur never gona belive this…"

Okay. Okay, I think I just died a little bit inside. And maybe threw up a bit.

First off: spelling.

_This is important and my pet peeve_. I can't wait for the spelling and grammar chapter so that I can elaborate more on the importance of these things. For now, I'll stick with this: if you don't spell correctly, it makes you look like an idiot. No, really, it does. You do not look cool. You do not look hip and modern and awesome. You look like you are an idiot who cannot spell "guys." Spell-checking programs are available on almost every computer, and if you don't have one you can most _certainly_ download it.

Secondly: grammar.

I won't go into much depth about this, but it's a fact: if you screw with grammar, it makes you look just as idiotic as if you screw with spelling.

Thirdly: punctuation.

What the hell, guys? What…what is this? Okay? Once again, there will be a chapter dedicated to this, but just saying: punctuation is one of a writer's best tools. A "1" is not, in fact, an exclamation point; no matter how much you wish it, it will not become one unless you press the "Shift" button. Quotes have an opening and a closing. There are two of apostrophes together that make up a quotation mark. Not one. Those three little dots? "…"? Called an ellipses. There are _only three of them._ And…

Okay. Okay. Stopping now.

Phew. Sorry about that.

Anyway.

Dialogue can be a very helpful thing to a writer. A lot of character development takes place in conversation; I often have my characters converse with one another, because it helps them grow. It cements the personalities that are developed.

Dialogue can also be a very confusing thing to readers if not used correctly. For instance, if you have a page full of dialogue, it's often important to identify the speaker so that people don't get lost. Example:

_"Oh please," sighed Ana, massaging the bridge of her nose. "Are we really going to do this?"_

_Renny huffed and pulled the fishnets off of her legs. "I'm not seeing another option. How about you, Princess?"_

_"…Princess?" asked Ana. Renny snorted._

_"I was talking to Will," she said, jerking her head at the blond vampire, who rolled his eyes._

See, the surrounding explanations show more emotions of the characters, how they act, what they dress like…whether they're mean or not. (Okay, Renny's not mean. Sort of.)

This, however, would be rather boring and uninformative:

_"Oh please. Are we really going to do this?" Ana asked._

_"I'm not seeing another option. How about you, Princess?" Renny questioned._

_"…Princess?" asked Ana._

_"I was talking to Will," Renny said._

Are we getting the difference?

Dandy.

Well, we're pretty much done here. Next chapter is _Spelling and Grammar._ Have fun, write more…enjoy yourself!

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**A Guide To Writing Fanfiction**

_(No, Seriously, A Real Writing Guide II)_

By: dnrl

* * *

_Chapter Three: Spelling, Grammar, and Common Sense_

* * *

Guh.

Alright, guys, listen up: I might get a bit…um…harsher…in this chapter. I'm trying to tone down my roaring, ranting rage, because my inner Grammar Nazi is easily ticked off when it comes to things like what you'll be seeing in this chapter. So I'm taking a solemn oath: I won't be insanely cruel and harsh while describing what you should and should not do in relation to grammar and spelling. I will be kind and attempt to be helpful in this guide.

Blah.

Mkay, y'all, let's get cracking.

First subject today is spelling. This is a massively important tool. This is something that they teach us at school from kindergarten. C-A-T. D-O-G. You get the picture. If it wasn't important, they wouldn't drill it into our heads as much as they do.

This majorly vital device that is horribly underused, both in the real world and online.

I understand that you have ideas that you want to share with the world. You had a dream or saw something that filled you with inspiration that you need to write down. This is a wonderful and powerful urge. However, misspelling makes you look unprofessional and lazy; it also cuts across your descriptions. You wanted to share something with everyone, and all they can really focus on is your bad spelling. It takes away the overall value of your story, sucking the goodness away like a fat, happy little leech.

For example: in a flash of brilliant inspiration, you have a great idea for a PJO fanfic. You race to your keyboard and type, type, type until you can type no more. You have it all: your wonderful thoughts are splashed across fourteen pages that are turned into three chapters. You have your title and your summary; the world has never seen a fanfiction like this.

So you rush to your beloved site and you post and wait for reviews.

And you wait.

And wait some more.

You make a sandwich, watch a few episodes of Scrubs, and wait. Still nothing.

Why? Why do the readers not love you? Why do you only have five hits?

Because they can't figure out what you're trying to say.

This is your title and summary:

_Talia's Jurney_

_so aftr talia joins artems n her huntrs, they have these cray-zee adventurs but does thalia mayb e still love luke. review becuz i give cokies!!1! 1st story!!1_

First off: pleading for reviews is beneath you as an author. If you want reviews, work your ass off and make an amazing story that deserves them. Don't tell people that you won't update unless they review. Secondly: You know how to spell Thalia's name. It is not Talia, talia, Thala, Thali, or any variation. Third: I don't do drugs; I don't want your cokies. Lastly: I don't care if it _is_ your first story; it doesn't make a difference to me.

If your summary is that bad, only those who use LOL-speak in real life will even glance through your story…not to mention that when you clean up your sentence structure (no screaming; good grammar isn't that bad) your story makes more sense.

Here's how it should look:

_Thalia's Journey_

_After Thalia joins Artemis and her Hunters, all sorts of crazy adventures follow. But Thalia can't help but wonder if, maybe, she might still like Luke. (insert pairing, if present)_

Much more professional. You'll get a lot more readers that way that from the first example.

Spell-checkers, as I've said before, are common. They come built-in with Microsoft Word and with most writing programs. If you're typing your story in, say, WordPad, however, no spell-checking feature is present. In this case, you can either download a spell-checker from online or make use of fanfiction . net's wonderful beta service.

Even if you do have a spell-checker, it's always a good idea to get two or three other opinions before posting. Other people will catch your mistakes more frequently than you do. This is not some convoluted form of egotism; this is because you know what you mean, and so your brain will alter the words to fit. Someone else, however, isn't familiar with the workings of your mind. They won't instinctively know that you meant "nose" instead of "noise," and they'll fix that.

(This is also the main purpose of reviewing with constructive critique. If five people read your story, they will all catch mistakes, which they can then inform you of.)

If you are interested in trying to improve the quality of your spelling, dictionary . com is an excellent source, as is your spell-checker. If you're interested in knowing what words to look out for, email me and I'll send you the link for the full list of the 507 most commonly misspelled words, since ff . net seems to have a URL-phobia. However, misspelling of words isn't quite as much of a problem as the dreaded AIM-speak.

A-a-a-a-and I can see those of you with chat-based fic out there rolling your eyes, preparing to flame, or X-ing out of the window as I type. Go right ahead, lovelies. –yanks out bag of marshmallows- I've been meaning to use these babies.

Anyway.

Dnrl's Quick Guide To AIM-speak:

_i_ - I

_u_ - you

_bcuz_ - because

_lol_ - laugh out loud

_lmao_ - laugh my ass off

_w/e_ - whatever

_were_ - we're/we are

_jk_ - just kidding

_wut _- what

_kno_ - know

_tht_ - that

There are thousands and thousands more, so I'll give you a few simple rules:

_1.) If, when you speak the word phonetically to yourself, you leave out vowels in the pronunciation (i.e. ttly for totally), it is probably incorrect._

_2.) If, when you speak the word out loud, you use only letters and not a recognizable word (i.e. brb for be right back), it is probably incorrect. (A few exceptions include SOS, AWOL, etc.)_

_3.) If you would not use the spelling of the word in a graded English essay, it is probably incorrect._

_4.) If you find it on an I Can Has Cheezburger?, it is probably incorrect. (For example: Catnip kitteh tinks colurs r pretteh.)_

_5.) If it is not something you would use in a regular conversation with someone, please refrain from using it._

There are probably more rules, but I can't think of any off the top of my head. If you know some, please message or review and I'll be happy to add them in.

Remember: when in doubt, don't sound it out. Look it up.

Adding in a pet peeve here: homophones. Homophones are words that sound the same, but are spelled differently.

List of commonly misused homophones:

**Accept and Except:**

Accept: you allow or agree with something, e.g. "I accepted the reward with a smile."

Except: a preposition that means "everything but," e.g. "I packed everything except my bedspread."

**Its, It's:**

- Its: the possessive form; the "s" designates the possession of an object by "it," e.g. "Its arm was covered in gunk."

- It's: the contraction of "it" and "is," for example, "It's really hot out today!" (The apostrophe war shall be covered in the grammar part. Extensively.)

**Than and Then:**

- Than: used to compare, to show what you prefer, and to show a number/object beyond the stated amount, e.g. "I ate more eggs than Tony," "I like that color more than that one," or "I read more than the first three pages."

- Then: used to talk about a time other than now, to show what is next in a progression, or to suggest a rational finish, like "I wish I could find a way back to then," "First come the eggs, then the sugar, then the butter…", or "If it wasn't Mr. Mustard in the Library with the Wrench, then the only logical conclusion is that it was Ms. Peacock in the Study with the Candlestick."

**Their, There, and They're:** Huge pet peeve here.

- Their: indicates possession; "it is their house."

- There: indicates place; "I want to go there."

- They're: contraction of they and are; "They're waiting out by the car.

**To, Two, and Too:** Ditto.

- To: preposition or part of an infinitive verb: "Let's go to the lake."

- Too: also, very; "I was tired too," or "I was too energetic to sleep."

- Two: the number 2, used in counting or math. "There were two apples."

**You're and Your:**

- You're: contraction of you and are; "You're looking lovely today, Mary."

- Your: indicates possession of something; "Is that your jacket?"

For the complete list of commonly misused words: once again, you can email me for it.

And from that we make a graceful segue into the topic of grammar.

It really isn't all that complicated, so stop making faces. Yes, you. I can see you there, frowning at your computer. Stop.

Excellent.

See, this isn't the grammar that you cover in school. I'm not talking about nominatives or direct or indirect objects, or pointing out to me what clauses you use and where. Personally, I'm all for sentence variety, but who cares if you know what everything's called? I don't give a damn about noun and adjective and adverb clauses or phrases or whatever. As long as you don't have, "See Dick run. See Jane run. See Dick and Jane run," we'll be okay.

Instead, we'll be focusing on grammar's simpler aspect: punctuation.

Even though you know what everything is, here's a quick review of punctuation and what each word stands for:

_"" – quotation marks_

_! – exclamation point_

_: - colon_

_; - semicolon_

_() – parentheses_

_- - dash_

_, - comma_

_. – period_

_? – question mark_

_' – apostrophe_

_… - ellipses_

Okay, now that we're through with that, onward to dnrl's Punctuation Laws!

_1.) You shall not treat the "1" as an exclamation point. It is not, in fact, an exclamation point._

_2.) A period and a comma are not the same thing._

_3.) You do not have to press the apostrophe key twice to make a quotation mark; just press shift._

_4.) An apostrophe is not needed for every word with an "s" at the end._

_5.) All punctuation following a spoken sentence is placed within the quotation marks._

_6.) If you open a parenthesis, close it._

_7.) Same goes for quotation marks._

_8.) Ten periods do not an ellipsis make. Go with only three. No more, no less._

_-_ ("First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it." Pure love.)

_9.) Colons involve lists, usually. Don't use three colons per sentence. Not cool._

_10.) Semicolons are unusual little buggers that you use to connect two whole, related thoughts._

_11.) Don't use five dashes where one will work. Overdoing it is…not good._

Okay, now we're going to go through each of the rules in the depths they require.

What, you thought we were done? Ha. Dream on.

**1.) Don't treat the "1" as an exclamation point. It is not, in fact, an exclamation point.**

_Percy ran to Annabeth, arms stretched out. "WAAAIIIIT!!1!111!"_

Just…no, guys. Please. Spare me. Clearly you know how to make an exclamation point. Only one is required to make your point, honestly. The rest? It's not even overkill. Beating a dead horse? Try slamming a dead horse with a truck over and over again. Not necessary.

**2.) A period and a comma are not the same thing.**

_Thalia looked at Luke. sadness on her face, "Luke!" she yelled_

Nu-uh. Nope. Absolutely not. Listen: the best way to remember to use a comma instead of a period is to read the sentence out loud. See, a comma designates a short pause while a period shows a long one; so if you don't want a long pause, use a comma. If you don't want any pause, don't use it. That's the best theory for commas and apostrophes: if you're not sure, don't use it.

**3.) You do not have to press the apostrophe key twice to make a quotation mark; just press shift.**

_' 'Annabeth, I don't understand.' '_

' ' is not equal to ". If you want a quotation mark, press Shift and, while holding it down, press the apostrophe key. Simple and clean.

**4.) An apostrophe is not needed for every word with an "s" at the end.**

_Annabeth's eye's widened as she looked at the scene's before her._

I…what? No.

The apostrophe-s combination is doing one of two things: showing possession or a contraction. Annabeth's eyes? They're not possessing anything. There are two eyes; plural is shown by the lack of apostrophe. Same rule with scenes.

**5.) All punctuation following a spoken sentence is placed within the quotation marks.**

_"Hey Connor", Travis called. "I bet that I can do it faster than you can"!_

The comma and the exclamation point used in the above example belong between the quotation marks along with the words of the phrase. Think about it this way: you want to include the pause and the feeling of excitement in with the sentence, right? You can't do that when the punctuation that dictates the pause and the excitement is outside of the sentence.

**6.) If you open a parenthesis, close it.**

**7.) Same goes for quotation marks.**

"_I don't even wanna know what you're talking about, said Rachel. She was busy painting.)_

The only way you can tell that Rachel has stopped speaking is because of the "said Rachel." The end quotation mark is necessary because it shows the reader where one person stops speaking. It is extremely important in dialogue-only fic. "She was busy painting" is supposed to be a side observation; (She was busy painting.) is not central to the main sentence. Perhaps she's on the phone. Who knows? Point is: finish what you started.

**8.) Ten periods do not an ellipsis make. Go with only three. No more, no less.**

_She paused to catch her breath. "…………………….."_

If you want to have a long pause, show it in words or with one ellipsis. For example:

_The silence hung thick and heavy over the scene after the Percy finished reciting the prophecy._

Or,

_"…"_

_"…"_

_The pause between the two seemed to stretch on for decades._

The second example is more common when writing dialogue. An ellipsis in quotations shows that somebody could be saying something, but they're not.

Another, less commonly used way is more popular with first-person narration:

_I paused, watching Clarisse make her way stealthily into the Athena cabin._

_…_

_Well, that couldn't be good._

Here, the ellipsis depicts the moment in which the narrator mulls the situation over, trying to figure out what exactly is wrong with the picture they're seeing.

**9.) Colons involve lists, usually. Don't use three colons per sentence. Not cool.**

_Moving around a little: Annabeth sighed and rolled her eyes._

I'm gonna get a little bit more grammar-involved for a minute here: you can only use a colon after a complete sentence; that means a sentence with a subject and a verb.

_Annabeth closed her eyes, mentally counting down: three…two…one…_

Annabeth is your subject; closed is a verb. Notice that after the colon, the numbers are in a list or progression. If you were writing a grocery list, for example, you would say, "I need to buy: cabbage, lettuce, tomato, pizza dough…" and so on. Also, if you're writing and using a quote:

_Annabeth bit her lip. She knew that she should let him work out his own invention, and that the work he was doing was an indication that he had an idea. As Edison said: "Invention is one percent inspiration and ninety nine percent perspiration."_

**10.) Semicolons are unusual little buggers that you use to connect two whole, related thoughts.**

_You're so pretty; what I'm trying to say isn't that you're ugly._

_What; yeah, I'll be at the party at nine._

One of my English teachers presented this to me in the best light: "For your high school entrance essays, they will be impressed when you use a semicolon. They'll be impressed because they're difficult to use - correctly. Anyone can write down a semicolon, and if you use it wrong you'll just look like you wanted to seem smart. If you're not positive it works, don't waste your time."

Semicolons are tricky. Fun as hell, but tricky. If you have two whole, related thoughts that you want to consolidate into one big sentence (no run-ons, y'all), then you can use a semicolon. For example:

_Percy didn't understand at all; what was Annabeth talking about?_

Annabeth is talking about something that Percy doesn't understand. Both are related to each other; neither are fragments.

**11.) Don't use five dashes where one will work. Overdoing it is…not good.**

What was she talking about? She couldn't possibly mean -- -- --

What are you trying to do, type an empty line? No. You are trying to show a dramatic pause. You are _failing _to show a dramatic pause. The reader is now attempting to play "fill in the blank" minus a word bank. Don't do it. Less is more.

**Bonus Tidbits:**

Using "and:" "And" is a conjunction, which means that it connects two things. When listing, you don't need to use "and" between every object. Instead, finish your list and put it before the last word. Annabeth needed a shield, a whetstone, a spare tunic, and a new pair of tennis shoes.

Using commas: The comma is a complicated little sucker, and there are a lot of rules that come along with the package. For extensive rules on how and when to use commas, Google "grammar help."

Disclaimer: Don't own PJO…if anybody reading this feels that any of the examples I used are too similar to something of yours, please PM/review and politely cite your work and list the reasons you feel it is similar to anything I've said. I assure you, anything of the sort is completely unintended and I'll correct it straight away.

If anybody has any grammar/spelling suggestions, please go ahead and review or PM me with them! I'll be more than happy to add them in. The guide will profit from any positive contribution, and hey, we'll make s'mores with the negative ones. Woo!

A word to the wise: Remember, just because spell-checkers and Microsoft Word are good resources doesn't mean that they're infallible. I often have grammar disagreements with Word, and I know most of my friends have them too. That's why it's always best to find yourself two or three good betas – preferably from the fandom in which you're writing…in this case, PJO.

Good luck and good writing! Next chapter will deal with good reviews and how to give polite, constructive critique.


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